The box of our social constructs

Recently I was able to watch the musical &Juliet at the Royal Alexandra Theatre in Toronto. The musical reimagines Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. The musical dives into how the normative box of social constructs drive how the traditional Romeo and Juliet ends with the lovers dying. In Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, class, family honour, and marriage as alliance building serve to doom and overwhelm the concept of freely choosing romantic love. Rather, the musical &Juliet deconstructs this by having Juliet live, giving her the time and space to open to a world free of the social constructs of their (and our) time. And what unfolds is at times transcendent as the cast both individually and together discard social constructs to begin to live with agency and authenticity.

The cast consists of powerful women who choose to upend the patriarchal world of the Elizabethan era. Shakespeare was never shy of speaking truth to power and highlighting the folly of male ambition. He often used women disguised as men to explore power dynamics, and to challenge the gender social codes of the time to create comedic situations. In &Juliet, the women speak from a more modern feminist perspective, and the musical appears to centre on Juliet’s journey to empowerment which I imagine as the most common take away from the musical. But as someone who is nonbinary, I saw that underneath this feminine empowerment is something even more subversive. Juliet’s best friend May is nonbinary, and it is their ultimate self acceptance and willingness to live authentically to pursue love which allows the freedom for the other characters to grow to embody a new way of being, freer from the social constructs they found themselves in at the start of the musical. May is the catalyst to the emotional growth that occurs amongst the characters within the musical.

Representation

One of my favourite TED talks is Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche’s The Danger of the Single Story. Growing up in Nigeria but still stuck in its colonial ties, her childhood reading was about all things British, tea, apples, and the four seasons. In this single story, she felt in the process of growing up her Nigerian reality was erased. And so is for me the experience of living in a world of heteronormative gender roles when one’s experience is outside of those norms.

Seeing myself reflected in culture through the media, books, the stage, and movies is more than a “feel good moment” although it is that too, but it also is evidence that I exist and I matter. The experience of seeing my internal and external world mirrored as a nonbinary person is many things all at once and that is its power. Authentic representation is not so different than experiencing a complex culinary flavour that is more than tasting the individual ingredients, but the interplay and “layering” of those different tastes over time. First is how seeing myself reflected sparks a huge positive surge of pride, happiness, joy, and euphoria to see a character live authentically and prosper. This is followed by a series of emotions that are a bit more nuanced and reflective as the significance of that blast of positive emotions turns to more of an awe and appreciation of the possibilities as well as relief that it now seems possible to no longer live feeling that I am not an outlier nor need to be seen that way.  With this reflection there is also bittersweet sadness, albeit somewhat cathartic, becoming aware of the pain and struggle on the time lost living inauthentically.

&Juliet delivers the full range of authentic representation as the premise of the play demands a diverse cast. Crucial to the casting is queer representation that includes nonbinary actors as well as a plot that is crucial to the nonbinary character’s lived experience.

 “All I need is time, a moment that is mine.”

On a purely physical level, being able to see May embody their gender and sexuality and their inherent sensuality is so affirming. What struck me was seeing their authenticity, struggle, queer joy, and euphoria from a non-binary space. And their hair is amazing.

Being misgendered is such a common experience for us who are nonbinary and as I watched May called “sir,” my breath became shallow and tears began to well up seeing them physically shrink and their radiance dimming during the encounter, I know how this feels but is this how I look because I surely feel that dimming.

Even though in this moment, May is feeling the full brunt of societal erasure, this poignant moment does not or cannot constrain the impulse to break free of the social constructs of the time. Shortly after, May and Francois’s kiss and their coming out seals the narrative arc that the second act will follow. May declaring to Francois: “OK, but you know that I am not girl, right?” is the moment which resonates to anyone who is nonbinary as they make their way to living vulnerably as they are.

And it is this moment, the plot shifts as May steps out of the social constructs of what constitutes relationship, which will create a ripple effect as all the other characters now must face the question of what type of love do they want.

And love can only live when love unfetters itself and dares to break out of the boxes we arbitrarily build.